Secret Men's Business

Before we moved to Singapore, we had a conversation with a cultural relocation consultant who was a local Singaporean.  I asked her if she thought there would be any stigma assignment to me because I was a male trailing spouse.  Her reply was something like "I am not sure.  I've never heard of any male trailing spouses."  This was not a confidence builder!  I did some Internet research and found that while it is less common, male trailing spouses do exist and the numbers are increasing.  Oddly enough, I have met several mates by happenstance.  For instance, one morning a few days after we moved into our apartment and before the kids had started school, I was taking the kids for the walk.  As we were heading back, a guy exited the subway and struck up a chat with me.  I came to find that he was a stay-at-home Dad who was loving it.  Another time, I took a cooking class at a local restaurant called the Coriander Leaf.  There were only 10 people in the class, but as it turned out, another guy was again a stay-at-home Dad.  (He'd even sold his business in the UK to move here!)  Finally, a female colleague of my wife's was moved here and you guessed it, another male trailing spouse.)

But as you could imagine, female trailing spouses, the infamous expat wives, are more common.  They are at all the swim lessons, gym lessons, soccer lessons, etc., and out for the morning tennis matches or coffees.    So it still feels a little strange and make me feel like less of a man.

But this week, I finally found a social group for male trailing spouses.   They are a group from the Australian and New Zealand Association (ANZA) called Secret Men's Business.  It's a bunch of men, most of whom choose not to work.  They meet up twice a week to golf, and once a month to have lunch and beers.  Some men were older and a few were around my age.  All very interesting and easy to talk to.  I can't wait to go next month.

Outdoor seating Harry's @ Boat Quay.  Right on the river!